The Birthday Betrayal

By my 23rd birthday all of my friends had finished their Bachelor Degrees and had headed out of the province in search of either work or their Master’s Degree. It was the end of an era – I was used to having 20 or so people packed into my apartment prior to our evening out and this year it would only be 7 – four of which were my 2 siblings and their significant others. My friend Erin was determined to make sure I had a good time so she bought a tic-tac-toe drinking game. However she soon found out that I was better at the game than her and started getting frustrated at my lack of shots taken so she made a new rule – if I win, you drink and if you win, you drink.

18 shots and 4 cocktails later it was 11 pm and I no longer knew English in any shape or form. Now, this is more of a cautionary tale than a “Oh look how cool I am because I drank so much” story. By 12 am at the Owl I was talking into the DJ’s mic, telling my friend’s boyfriend how good he was for her, talking to strangers and then my stomach said “It’s time to evict your contents”. Being that I am polite, I didn’t want to make a huge mess inside so I quietly slinked away outside by the bike racks to rid my body of its poisonous toxins. Both hands were tightly gripping the metal frame of the bike rack as a large shadowy figure approached. It was the bouncer from inside. He started rubbing my back saying “You still look good, you still look good.” And it was at this time I managed to convert gibberish in to a semi coherent sentence: “Pleash donnn toush mmmmm eeee”.

Thankfully, the Owl has large viewing windows and at the exact time my sister and Jimmy’s sister, Alex, saw me outside trying to get the cave man to go away. They all came out to my aid telling him that they were okay to take care of me. It was clear that I was done for the evening so they packed me up in a vehicle and listened to my ramblings all the way home. Alex escorted me up to my apartment where Jimmy was playing Xbox (he was working late and I hadn’t answered my phone to let him know where we were so just stayed home waiting for his mess of a lady to show up). He took one look at me and knew I was in really bad shape.

Jimmy & Alex help me ease myself down to the floor of the bathroom in front of the porcelain throne. I then proceeded to take my contacts out while talking about my evening. Alex can’t stop laughing at me and Jimmy just rolls his eyes. They both help me change into my pajamas and put me in my bed with a garbage can beside me. Jimmy had decided to sleep on the couch as I smelled quite badly and I was taking up the whole bed. Then morning came.

I woke up with bile in my hair, on my pillow and on my night stand (luckily, I was sleeping on my side). I put my glasses on and froze. I couldn’t see clearly out of my left eye. Suddenly, I started to panic. Did I drink myself half blind?? I called out for Jimmy and as he entered he made a face at the smell in the room. I told him the situation and he looked really scared too. I took my glasses off to rub my eyes and then just before I put my glasses on, I realize, huh I can see out of my left eye….I reach up to touch my eye and sure enough, there it was – my left contact. I was wearing double prescription, not blind. Phew.

Anyway, that was the day I stopped consuming more than 3 alcoholic beverages in one evening/outing. Lesson learned.