Chuck-E-Cheese Chase Down

While digging around the change portion of my wallet I happened upon a Chuck E Cheese token. Now I haven’t been there in ages and I was only there once. I’m pretty sure someone passed this token off as a quarter when I was given back change at some point. This kind of angered me because a quarter would have been more useful given the fact that the token wasn’t even worth $0.25 itself. We had gone there for a birthday party several years ago (being a mature 20 something) because Chuck E Cheese had just opened and we poor prairie folk had been deprived of such luxurious birthday celebrations. The pizza was pretty cardboard like and wasn’t cheap. But they did have the best arcade game ever....a “Fast & Furious” game that I could have taken home and married. Alas, I did not and I ran out of money. Well I didn’t run out per se I just didn’t want to waste any more money on a game that wasn’t giving me anything in return other than stupid tickets.

The dinner bell rang and I was being summoned back to my table for ice cream cake. Not wanting my hard work to go to waste I stopped off at the ticket counting machine. While feeding my seemingly endless amount of tickets into the tiny ticket counter that is clearly set up for children under four feet, a large shadow appeared from behind me. I straightened up and looked back to see what was going on and there he was: Chuck E Cheese himself. All six-stuffed-feet of him. He motions with his outstretched arms that he’d like a hug. I contemplate this. I am not eight years old and this is no innocent gesture of affection between a grown 20 something woman and mascot. Now, there comes a time and/or situation when hugging a mascot is not cute or funny – it’s just creepy. Anyway I’m pretty sure by this point that there is a pimple faced 16 year old boy in there trying to cop a feel.

I smile awkwardly and say ‘No thank you.’ And carefully maneuver myself around his massive plush body. As I start to walk away I hear the very distinct sound of his giant feet swishing on the ground behind me. I quicken my step and so does he. This can’t be happening; there is no way I am being chased down by Chuck E Cheese. The group of people I am with noticed that I am being followed and motion for me to walk faster. Any faster and I’ll be in a dead run. That would just look crazy. Crazy? This guy is crazy! Who chases a grown-up in a mascot costume? Serial killers, that’s who. I’m confused and a little frightened as I hear ‘Hurry Amy! He’s right behind you!’ My breath catches in my throat and I start to jog. Finally I reach safety. I duck in behind our table where he can not reach me and I grab Jimmy’s arm for comfort.
Chuck E Cheese has admitted defeat. He over exaggerates the slumping of his shoulders as a sign of disappointment. He then proceeds to go to the ‘Staff Only’ door where he tries in vain to enter the pass code on the door. It would seem his giant plush paws are too big to push the tiny buttons. We all sit there watching him trying madly to contain our laughter as he puts on a mime comedy show of angry door kicking and fist pounding. In the end he took off his ‘paw’ and entered the code with his human hand. A few moments later a 16 year old pimply faced, sweaty adolescent emerges from the same door. Yeah, that’s what I thought.