Bikini Top Mishap

We all have a moment in our lives that you will never be able to live down. It won’t matter what lengths you’ve taken they will all be in vain. Such a moment has come and gone for me. The only silver lining I can come up with is nothing will ever compare to the day my innocence was taken away and replaced by sheer embarrassment. Even the time my friend Matt walked in on me sitting on the toilet – it still wasn’t nearly as horrendous. Have I built up the suspense enough yet? Well then, let’s get going.

It was a beautiful summer day in 1999. We were all at Dave’s house playing in the pool his parents had newly purchased. We were playing “Red Ass” against the wall of the house and I just happened to catch the ball for the first time! Go me! Just as suddenly as victory was given to me shame quickly replaced it. My boyfriend at the time, Eric came up from behind and stole the ball from my arms. Only he hadn’t realized that he had taken my bikini top with it. He throws the ball with one arm and proceeds to hold my hands behind my head as I struggle desperately to get away to cover myself. He is laughing because he has no idea he just made his girlfriend flash a pool full of our friends. All but one of those friends were male. Reactions were mixed.

Ryan said “Whoa.” And politely looked away. Dan made some sort of terrified scream and turned away from me. Jon made no sound at all and quickly glanced down at the water feeling a little embarrassed himself. All the while Dusty and Dave stand open mouthed and staring. Finally after what seems like three hours have passed since the scarring moment, Jenna runs over to Eric and pushes him off of me so I can pull myself back together again. Quietly I slink out of the pool and put my over-sized t-shirt back on and sat down on a deck chair. Silence consumes us all. I swallow hard and realize that my most painful childhood memory is the stuff teen magazines thrive off of. A cliché if you will. How tragic for me.

For weeks after Eric harassed me with “When do I get to see them? Everyone else got to.” I informed him that maybe if he hadn’t given away the farm I wouldn’t be so uptight. To this day whenever I meet someone new and Dave is around he tells the story of “Jenna’s Basement”. This would be the day when I finally let my friends meet my new boyfriend, Jimmy. We were all gathered in Jenna’s basement when Dave suddenly says “Hey, who here hasn’t seen Amy naked?” There are 10+ of us sitting there (8 of which are male) and Jimmy is the only one that raises his hand. He takes a slow look around the room and his face has concern oozing off of it. He wonders to himself just what kind of girl is he dating? And of course once Dave tells this story it always leads to the pool story.....it’s been nearly 10 years with no end in sight.