Coincidental Dine & Dash

Dear Readers,

I have a terrible confession to make. I am a wanted criminal. Shocking right? I seem so honest and genuine (a little crude but decent nonetheless). But before you start passing judgment and dialing 1-800-Crime Stoppers please let me explain my side of the story and why I feel it was necessary for me to be an accessory to food theft.

It was calm Friday evening in August 2007. I was flying high on my condo purchase and recent engagement. Life was good. My buddy Erin gives me a call and asks if I’d like to go out for desert and a movie, her treat. How could I decline? So we head out to Earl’s South and take a seat in the lounge. On a side note you should know, the last time I was at Earl’s the server forgot to take my money and I waited for about 20 minutes for him to come back despite the peer pressure to leave from my friends.

We order one drink and one desert (or glorified ice cream as we found out) each. When we get our bill for $26.00 we both sort of look at each other as if to say, “Good thing we didn’t order food. This place is expensive.” No matter. We head up to the front to pay. Another girl walks by us and says “Are you using debit? The machine is on the other side of the bar.” We wander over and stand there waiting for our server to take our monies. Three bartenders are present, seven other employees walk by and 25 minutes later we still have not paid. Our server has cleaned our table and is now serving new people. I look at the time and we’re going to be late for our movie. Neither of us have cash to put down and there is no cash machine in sight to withdraw money from. I finally utter, “Forget this. I’m leaving.” Erin quickly follows suit equally as frustrated as I am.
However, as Erin and I reach the street and head for the car Erin has sped up past me. I can see her trying her best not to break out into a full on run. I stifle a laugh and say “Be cool man, be cool. We don’t need any unwanted attention. If we run we look super guilty.” Poor honest Erin. She looks back at me with a frown and says “We are guilty! But I wanted to pay and we waited for a long time so I feel a little better about leaving. My karma is going to be ruined now!” I laugh at her and pat her on the back as I say “Well at least it was only $26.00 worth of karma and we’re not coming back again any time soon. If it makes you feel better I’ll take all the bad karma so you won’t be affected.”

Now I really wish I hadn’t done that…the week following that night I lost the diamond necklace that Jimmy gave me for our 6 year anniversary, my soup container spilled all over my backpack ruining shoes, clothes and my day planner and to top it off when I left my backpack on the clothes line to dry over night it rained. I hear Erin is doing well.