Out of the Ordinary Extraordinary

Before starting at Canada Life I used to work at a grocery store. From the age of 15 to 20 I grew up at Extra Foods on Broadway Ave. For the first two years I was a Courtesy Clerk and for the remaining three and a half I was a Stock Clerk. Being female, I was often confronted by customers angry at long line ups demanding that I open my till….except I was not a cashier so I would have to inform them of this folly. Other times people would walk passed me to the nearest male (often a friend from the produce section, wearing a green apron) to ask where things were…and in turn the said nearest male would have to ask me where the item was. And of course a heavy carryout such softer salt was always met with comments such as “Aren’t there any boys who can do that?”

There were times however, when I would get a male customer who would lean in and whisper “Can you tell me where the feminine products are?” and before I could answer he’d add “They’re not for me!” I’d always have to stifle a laugh because obviously I had figured they were not for him but for a female companion or daughter. Sometimes people would over share information regarding why they were looking for specific items. For example I had a woman ask me where the Depends were and then followed by where are the “tiny scrubby brushes, you know for underpants and such.” All of these questions had to be answered with a straight face.

Working in the store opened my eyes to the kinds of personalities and discriminations that still exist in the world we live in today. What I am about to present to you are the 10 most bizarre/disgusting occurrences I had ever come across in my 5.5 years of employment there.

10. I had been asked to do a carry out for an older gentleman. He had a 4L jug of milk. He told me his car was just outside the store. And as I’m walking and getting closer to the crosswalk…leaving the parking lot of the store I ask “Sir, where is your vehicle?” He looks around and then says “Oh, I didn’t drive. I just live down the street here we’re almost there.” I smiled awkwardly and said, “Sorry, I can not leave the property.” I hand him his milk and begin my walk back to the store….while he watches me walk away.

9. A man is caught shoplifting razor blades and shaving foam. He is a clean and honest looking man wearing very nice clothing – not one of our usual suspects. As it turns out he is a retired police officer.

8. A young man from one of the high schools across the street comes into the store and heads for the hygiene aisle. DJ and I are filling the milk cooler (back fill cooler so we are hidden). We watch as the young man takes a deodorant off of the shelf, removes the cap and uses it under his arms. Then to our horror, he places the cap back on and puts it back on the shelf. He and I run out and apprehend him threatening to call the police for theft – he buys the stick and leaves. The very next day the young man comes back into the store and repeats his actions.

7. An intoxicated man wanders into the store and straight to the cooked chicken display. He removes the lid and snatches a drumstick and begins to eat it. Suddenly he makes a disgusted face and throws the entire chicken on the floor and walks out.

6. A local woman known for being a “man hater” comes into the store on a Saturday afternoon. She locates a man doing his shopping in the General Merchandise section. She tilts her head, grabs a butter knife from the display and starts charging towards him – knife in the air. The man, stands staring at her too shocked to move. At the last moment she veers around him and continues on her way.

5. A local man known for his verbally abusive nature comes into the store and ends up in the cereal aisle. There he his faced with boxes upon boxes with Wayne Gretzky’s face printed on them. He takes on look and starts screaming “WHAT THE ‘FUDGE’ IS THAT ‘DONKEYHOLE’ DOING HERE!?” He smashes a few boxes and then storms out of the store.

4. A man marches into the store and up to the customer service desk holding a box of No Name potato flakes. He pulls out his crumpled receipt and exclaims “YOU OVER CHARGED ME!” Upon further investigation it would appear that we have overcharged him by $0.10. It’s the principle dag nabbit.

3. A man comes into the store with several boxes of PC brand facial tissue demanding a refund and a pack of FREE Kleenex to compensate for the PC tissues sticking together when he pulls them out of the box. Apparently, this was “embarrassing” for him when he had friends over and they pulled out more than one tissue at a time. He remained in the store for 4 and a half hours following the Assistant Manager around, hounding him for the free Kleenex.

2. An elderly woman wearing a purple fur coat, match purple fur hat, purple dress and purple handbag has requested a carry out. I take her two bags and escort her to her purple car. She opens the trunk and there is a GIANT hole on the right side. I can see the pavement under her car. As I lift the bags to place them in the trunk she says “Put them on the left side dear.” And then proceeds to hand me a quarter and warns me not to spend it on candy.

1. Upon my rounds at the end of the evening before I closed up I came across something that I will never ever be able to remove from memory. I stopped dead in my tracks and stared open mouthed. Not only was this event puzzling, deranged and inconceivable…it was also strangely impressive. On the floor in front of the milk cooler was a fresh pile of human poop…perfectly intact.