Electrical Dysfunction Disorder PT 1: Good Good Vibrations

I was 18 for my first year of University. One of my courses was Psych 100 which was in the giant auditorium in the Education building every Tuesday & Thursday morning at 10. One day about seven minutes (that’s right, I refuse to round up) before class started my purse started buzzing and vibrating. This was confusing to me as I always turned my cell phone completely off during class. I gingerly open my purse to peek inside and a smell of putrid vanilla wafts up into my face.

My perfume bottle has opened and spilled all over my belongings - including the battery of my cell phone…which is the source of the furious buzzing and vibrating. The battery acid has mixed with the alcohol of the perfume and I am no chemistry major but I am pretty sure that this isn’t a good mixture.

I take my phone out and disconnect the battery in the vain hope that maybe I can salvage the phone itself. I take a look around to find the nearest exit so I can get rid of this accidental bomb before class starts. The buzzing is getting louder and has caught the attention of several of my classmates – including my friend Jon. He doesn’t even ask before he grabs the battery out of my hand. “What the hell is this? Waaaah it’s vibrating!” and with one smooth motion of his giant monkey arm he throws the battery to the front of the auditorium. I look at him confused and kind of angry because now I have to run aaaaall the way down to the front of the class to retrieve my angry battery and to do so I have to disturb other classmates.

I stumble down the sloping walkway to get to the wayward battery and mumble apologies to the person it hit. They also feel the need to mention that it is vibrating on its own. Oh really? This is brand new information….thank you.

I run back up the slope and out into the lobby looking around for the most convenient way to rid myself of this battery. I spot a garbage can by the entryway. As I toss the battery in I look up to the ceiling and say a little “Please don’t blow up” prayer before I head back to my class.

So anyway, I learned a life lesson that day:: Don't carry perfume in your purse next to your cell phone.