How to Make Due: A Step by Step Instruction

I look at my iPhone screen. 17% battery life remains and the two most dreadful words known to a cellphone junkie appear in the top left of the screen: No Service. Jimmy's good friend Chad is getting married in a small town three hours away from our home city and I know maybe four people in total...and they're all in the wedding party. This leaves me alone for the duration of the weekend. And for those of you who are not aware, I am not the most socially comfortable person. Put me in an unfamiliar environment and I have no idea what to do so I shrink back into my hoodie and make awkward jokes that people who don't know me will never understand. I make the worst first impressions (and second, and third etc. it basically takes a person about seven encounters to get used to me and my strangeness). Damn my sarcasm! I should learn to fake being pleasant...but I just can't do it.

I cling to the vain hope that maybe the Bed & Breakfast that we are staying in will have wireless internet. It. Does. Not. Furthermore, the alleged "Bed & Breakfast" is really a very small house with two rooms and a front door that does not lock.
There is no breakfast either. Luckily, I am well versed in solitary confinement. I brought my laptop, a fresh playlist and two books. I sat alone on a bench reading one of my two books while everyone did what they do the night before a wedding at the church. I am sure I looked real charming keeping to myself making no efforts whatsoever to mingle. To make things worse there were several toddlers running around cute as could be. I was (as usual) unmoved by their adorable faces. They'd run up to me all smiles while their parents watched their pride and joy turned away by an unpleasant out-of-towner. I made eye contact once. And in that moment I think the child understood how I felt. He did not return to smile at me with his curious little face.

After two hours at the church/hall We follow the other couple bunking with us at the "Bed & Breakfast" to our destination. It has rained all day so the ground is saturated and very muddy. I unload my ridiculous amount of luggage - I brought very little in the area of changes of clothes and personal hygiene - most of my luggage is for entertainment purposes since I am aware that I will have to spend a majority of Friday night alone and most of Saturday afternoon between the ceremony and the reception alone as well. You're probably wondering, "Why even go?" Good question....

Jimmy and the other male leave to meet up with the rest of the Groomsmen. This leaves me alone with the other female. There are two options: I could force myself to be outgoing and kindle some sort of relationship to ease the loneliness of the next two days OR I could hide away in my room and write my stories. Choices, choices. The second female is heading to the bathroom and my door is still open. She says that I am welcome to go watch CBC in the other room. She can't see my face but I cringe. I respond with "Oh no thank you I brought my computer to work on."

"Oh are you a student?"

"No, I am writing a book and I figured since I would have nothing else to do why not."

"Oh yeah I guess."

A minute passes. Then she closes the bathroom door. Relief. That is enough socializing for me. I close my door and lock it. I think for a moment wouldn't it be funny if I told her I was writing a comedy-type book? She would probably assume it was either really twisted humor or just bad writing in general. I have been told on many occasions that I come off as blank faced or intense. I am almost sure I make people uncomfortable at times with my blank stare. I am listening when people talk and I guess that's just my 'concentrating' face. Oh well.

After changing into my pajamas I settle into the smaller of the two rooms and use my ever resourceful brain to charge my iPhone, run my lap top and still keep the tiny alarm clock plugged in from the same socket. I use the generous share of one metal hanger to hang my fancy shirt and my fancy coat up in the small closet. I unpack my five vitamin waters and place them in the top of the closet. I climb on the squeaky bed and start to get set up to write on my laptop. What the hell is that buzzing sound? I look up to see an enormous fly tormented by the ceiling fan above my head. Headphones in, bass turned up. I try to open MS Word. It has crashed and is asking me to reinstall. Fan. Tast. Ic. Naturally I do not have my backup discs....why would I?
A moment of sheer desperation and panic grip me tightly and I hit the Windows key - Search: Notepad. It appears. I shudder. I have been reduced to Notepad! I exhale while frowning then I select the program with disgust and open up the simple window. I roll my eyes and mutter, "You're not the same."